Do they have obedience school for preschoolers? I'd love to hear from anyone out there that can give me some ideas on how to get children to behave (especially strong-willed red-heads). Emma still simply refuses to go to sleep - at naptime or at bedtime. I understand that some kids don't require as much sleep as others, but she gets so cranky and whiny when she doesn't take a nap. We go through the same routine each night for bed and each night she cries whenever she's left in her room. Her excuse is that she "really, really don't want to be in my room by myself." I knelt by her bed the other night to talk to her and try to figure out exactly why she doesn't want to be alone in her room at night. She said she's afraid of the monsters outside her window. I pulled back the shade to show her that there are no monsters and assured her that Daddy makes sure that no monsters are allowed anywhere near our house. The only thing I can think of is that since her room is on the front of the house, she hears all kinds of noises outside - like people talking, cars coming and going, etc. She will get up and go to the bathroom 3-4 times after we've put her to bed - not because she needs to use the potty, but simply to do something to stay awake. She will lay in her bed and "read" books to her babies and animals but that will last forever if we let it. She also lays in the bed and cries/screams and yells downstairs at us about how she really doesn't want to be there. Finally, she will come downstairs check to see if we're there, then go back upstairs (or just stay by the steps for awhile before going upstairs) - this happens at least 3 or 4 times each night as well.
That's just one child . . . Daniel, on the other hand, will take a nap every afternoon. All you have to do is get him to sit still for 5 minutes or so. Then, at bedtime, we go through the same routine as with Emma. Once we say prayers and leave him in his bed, he will usually roll over and go to sleep within 5-10 minutes. Sometimes he reverts back to his crying/whining a little and coming downstairs, laying on the floor and falling asleep but this happens less often than it used to.
Now for the behavior issues, both kids have the idea that whenever Mommy & Daddy are talking to each other at the end of the day (or one is on the phone), that's their time to do whatever they want, be as loud as they want, pick at each other, or constantly interrupt with whatever question they can think come up with at the time. Emma's thing is that she likes to boss Daniel around. The trouble comes from the fact that if Emma tells Daniel 'no' about something, he will start crying and will not be comforted by anyone until Emma tells him 'yes' instead (it doesn't matter if Mommy or Daddy tell him 'yes', since Emma told him 'no' she has to be the one to tell him 'yes').
Here's my plan - I'm going to make a chart for each child and put a few items on it like takes a nap, goes to bed, behaves at meals, plays well, etc. Each child will get a sticker for each item they successfully complete each day. After they get 3 stickers in a row, they will get some small prize and a gold star for the day. If they get 3 gold stars in a row, they will get a special prize (like ride the train, go on the Duck ride, or some toy they like). I'm still trying to figure out all the details. One of the hardest things is coming up with the special prizes; especially things that won't cost much money. Things to do at Stone Mountain are easy because we have a Mountain Membership; the trouble will be having to deal with 3 kids instead of just my 2 if we go during a weekday.
I'm interested to see if anyone has any better suggestions . . . let me know.
5 comments:
Even though I am not a parent, I am a teacher and I think the positive reinforcement (sticker chart) is a great idea! You'll have to take notes and let me know if it works when I have the same problem in the future.
... I kept thinking of mom when reading your blog... she would've known what to do.. she LOVED preschoolers! Good luck and let me know how it works.
The stickers worked for Sam to go to bed....we use a magnet incentive board you can buy at Target...and it has chores, etc. on it. We have "stay in our bed" and "obey the first time", etc. Our prizes are bigger now...like we spell out the word ice cream - gettting a letter every day he gets all of his magnets, etc. We started out smaller, like dollar store, etc.
For the bed time monster issue, I have read people giving their kids a water spray bottle and telling them it is "Monster spray" and letting them spray aournd their bed or sleep with it or whatever. I don't know if that will help....but it may be worth a try! We have an alarm system, and showing Sam how it worked when we set it at night seemed to help him when he said he was scared....so if you have an alarm that may be worth a try. Good luck!
wish i had some good advice, but i don't. i just threaten trip if he gets out of bed more than twice. i tell him that he will get his bottom spanked if he gets up again. that usually works. i have had to actually deliver on my threat before, so usually the threat is enough now.
my kids are usually terrible from 4:30pm until dinner time. if i get a phone call during this time, it is just about impossible to talk. there is no way to reason with my boys, so i have to go in my room & close the doors to talk.
I am laughing so hard right now!! My advice is don't give the child a spray bottle!!! If they are anything like mine, there will be water everywhere but in the bottle! I don't know Emma, but again if she's anything like mine it is but another tactic to keep from going to bed. Mine were never really scared! I always patted backs for 5 minutes a piece after a story. After that they were allowed one trip to the bathroom and then it was in the bed for good (I put the sippy of water by the bed to eliminate that excuse). Up again--you get spanked it only took a few times with Josh, Abbey was another story (we used to beat her on a regular basis-hahaha) and Mary just seemed to follow suit as she does with most everything.They will grow out of it eventually if that helps any!
Actually now, Mary sleeps with me most nights...not a good habit to get into during the summer. Hopefully we can ease back into our regular routine with school starting back soon. Cross your fingers anyway...I may be handing out spray bottles myself...lol
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